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There is a reason for everything that happens .... or as to why a certain thing happens in a certain way.... HAHAHA.. yea yea... the fool has gotten philosophical and all that...

But i wrote all this only for a dramatic start the only thing i wanted to say was that i had been busy and i couldnt write or rather post what i scribbled for a while now.... But then i have been scribbling stuff every now and then random things about myself or life in general.

So will start posting regularly from now on ... since its winter and nothing more to do other than staring from the window and getting excited about snowfall... Although i dunno how long the excitement for snow will last knowing its "ME" we are talking about.

Be back soon....

Learning to say "NO"

TO SAY NO!!

I have been hearing from friends, cousins – people who know me really well that I don’t say “NO”  or I don’t know how to say “NO”.

Even though this has been  my new year resolution blah blah for a half a dozen times, for one or the other reason I fall back into the same old ME.  So wat is it that is wrong? Why do I simply smile and nod and say yes while the actual reaction has to be WAT!! NO WAY!! Definitely not!! Oh no I cant!

Do a lot of people have this kind of a problem or am I just the stupid one!? Dunno the answer for it… but am definitely one among that population …. So I headed to think the – why when where….did this start…I think it started with the introspection of assessing my short temper and looking for perfection in people, Things, situations… and then slowly I kept telling myself perhaps I shud tone down not good and things and there! I reached a place where I kept smiling pretty and nodding my head and initially I thought it avoided a lot of issues, fights, irritations but then I came so far that I had to do another introspection to bring myself out of that mode.

Now – identifying a problem I did it on my own…. And then I slept on it L L I know, sounds sick!  but then that’s true…. Like the famous one liner – I love work ; I can sit and stare at it for hours…  Exactly the same applies only that I do Identify a problem and then simply keep worrying abt it rather than fixing it!! Typical ME!!  But then a friend said please stand up and voice out your issues and get it over with rather than just taking things that you don’t wana be a part of ! Closer circle said the same…. And people who don’t know me well said the same – And then and there I realized that was the last bell; and I had to fix it or get stuck like that forever.

Now  before worrying about anything else I begin to think I panic about things wen it comes from strangers / people who are more like acquaintances, don’t really know me well.  The reason why I panic is not only becoz  that some one figured it out but also for the fact that I am becoming understandable, readable, predictable … whatever…. to people who are not in the close circle and makes me feel like the masquerade I wear was removed and my face was seen by the generic audience! That’s the feeling I have ! Dunno why though… I would like to openly talk to, joke about, share a secret with the close bunch and raise the guards around me otherwise…. Guess lot of ppl do that or am one among those silly ones….whichever….

I wonder do couples… very close frends…. Siblings…companions of all types… have that kind of a problem… that they spend so much time together / get to know each other so well that after some time the whole relationships become totally predictable….but then wat s wrong with predictability?

Guess predictable is like monotonous jobs! Gets boring eventually and if you don’t fix it soon you will end up not knowing why ur there !  And that’s  disastrous!

I dunno wat ppl do wen they enter this phase… but then I shud think abt wat I do first J LOL so, coming to the basic thought abt saying “NO” – I guess am doing it lil by lil like earlier I would simply nod if a frend asked me to accompany her somewhere or the blah blah blah now a days I do take a minute to think ; to say the yes, no. or atleast ensure to figure out if I have some thing important to do … the reason y I do that is becoz I have been dumb enough to say yes to too many things tat would hav to be at the same time with different people like saying yes to go to a movie and then saying yes to stay home too! While its not the mistake of either of the parties involved the culprit is good old “ME” ROFL

There !! I said it! Not that bad! Atleast now am slowly working on it… hope to be better at it J

Ok! But what about the predictability / monotony part??? HMMMM I would wana think some more…. J

LIFE IN A METRO……….

No no not the movie I was jus thinking how mechanical, monotonous and boring life gets…… ofcourse I do get to watch movies like Avtar and a short trip with family to visit gramps place and all…. Sure helps but not to the extent I want it to help.

Yeah I know this sure sounds like whining…. Dunno wats with me…and this small voice inside my head abt the monotony of life… guess am jus  damn bored or getting old …..So I thought something must be done abt it… I cant be so bored…

I worked like a well oiled machine… wake up work come back work sleep…… tick tock tick tock… grrrr I atleast want some difference at work …. Come on……… ok so I decide ….. and I QUIT!!

I got feedbacks like I was such a stupid fool….. and blah blah to do a stupid thing like that why on earth would u spend 4 yrs at a work place and then suddenly jus quit… u shud be crazy and all that…. Sure I am being a lil crazy every now and then is good for ourselves. J I think so J atleast

And then the news of my RESIGNATION spreads the whispers start I know they are talking abt it… find it funny… and laugh to myself…. Friends pull my leg for doing it … say they feel bad that I wont be around for the Friday lunch and tea time…. Discussions……. Well well well……… but then life goes on…

The send off lunch done, the gifts accepted, the good bye said…. Cleaning my desk off  - done, well now time to make the move.

I dint weep, I dint feel sad and I dint feel happy either not relieved… so wat do we call that state of mind… I dunno surely for I could not name it so I call it the nothingness. J not feeling anything at all… So I went home (Without a laptop) oh! Difficult to walk with out one hooked J onto my back and stuffed things and jus slept and woke up on the next day….. um…. Wat time…… not sure…… jus dint think of time… y think of time? No meeting, no report to send, no team to ask me doubts, Ahem – I was job less by the way.So a quick break fast and then I sat in the balcony with a book in my hand (not a letter did I read) and stared into nothing……. Guess it happens after one works and works and suddenly is job less…. J my first two days passed in utter laziness and feeling the nothingness and ofcourse talking to frends   abt my nothingness…..

Who said anything about my mind being free I had already started my thinking abt that offer I jus got and whether to accept or to think or oh god!! Why the hell cant I make up my mind… that often happens with me becoz am not organized (dad says so) I don’t decide abt wat I want I make the decision and then I think as to wat I want out of it …. Well now not everyone can be so perfect… aint it?? Now I am a strong believer of – world is still a better place becoz of some lunatics still are around (like me ??) So I dunno wat to do may be may be not…. And along comes another and another…. So ya… right am not showing off… jus trying to think y I do it all the time… I kept attending interviews… not thinking wat I wana do there… not a great thing to do I know… well that’s me J

Dad almost lost his patience with me and my shud I shud I nots that he almost stopped talking to me… he ran away at every chance of having to crack a conversation with me….. L why is it like that.. why am I like that…. Dunno….. I do it always with the smallest of the things to the Biggest of them… now that’s who and how I am its ok happens…..

So the decision made …….. and communicated well for now I could enjoy the jobless life.. isn’t it …. I ate slept watched all the movies that were playing on HBO, Star movies, World cinema… read books like as if I was supposed to write an exam on them soon…… and ate, slept and of all the other things…. Took those long walks in the evening… sometimes with my ipod sometimes with out… its fun to observe people specially strangers../.. the passersby some fighting in the traffic with fellow vehicles…. Arguing with the vendors….. old ppl strolling, talking…… its weird to observe but it kind of takes me away from my own thinkings ……….. suddenly I tell myself to live life and not worry so much abt the if’s and the but’s its…ok …. IF something is gona get screwed up it anyways will with or without the help of my wrongs and rights…. So that’s fine…

These couple weeks I did all that the BC tag line says… Shop eat celebrate…… J ROFL well celebrate freedom of feeling nothingness I guess… it was fun……Whew … cool… had a nice time…… and joining on Monday………back to work …….schedules….reports…..meetings………

I RETURN TO THE MONOTONY….. Wasn’t it the same thing that I wanted to run away from and hence quit???

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

So …… Did I take my passport? Did I pack the stuff I bought? ……… ok all done…. Off we go to the airport…. And the shuffling around for my forms for the VAT return since I had bought some stuff while I was ther…..…. So I finished got settled in to my seat…. Hey wasn’t it jus the other day…. That I was sitting and staring out of the window to see if I could get a glimpse of the moon and zooommmmm the days flew by and I was gona be back in india…… in a couple hours….

Some pics of THE HOSTS :)

Since the flight arrived in the wee hours of the morning… my sis and uncle, aunt everyone felt it was silly to get dad wait for me at that hour so I went with them and slept and got a big fat breakfast and zipped off home… (my bro dropped luckily)

YUHOOOOOO!!!! Singapore was great but then this was home sweet home… its like a child being held in the hands of all people…. Around and then back to its cradle…. :) he he no exaggeration.. that s a true bangalorean speaking…… back to the familiar air water chaos traffic; one cup of dad made coffee and there I go crash on my own bed… that s a great feeling… jus not expressable at all….

I am not sure how long I slept for I dint understand where I was when I woke up…. I felt lite… very lite… and figured out the answers to the questions – where am I who am I ROFL….. went and spoke to friends cousins… and finally … the sick part :( started unpacking…. Ew … y do u have to do that.. I have always hated doing it… no matter I go for a day or ten… I jus don’t like that task… :( :(

Back to office ……… the routine starts… no offers… oh some one dint join…. Hey that report dint go …. U know a new project that requires me to work on the night times toooo :( ok … got it …. Reality…… thank god they atleast were ok for me to work from home in the night…..hufff I looked like a Zombie working day and night…….. too muchhh

AND THEN LIFE GOES ON……………

MA:1.02

My expedition began from the Monday morning….. I woke up to the foot steps of putti and the parents running behind her feeding and cleaning… etc.,…. While my BIL got ready to go to office he gave me a zillion instructions about wat to do wat not to do and how at any moment I could call him and he could guide me thru ….and not to worry… and my sis giving me details abt wat where wen why how… of the transportation and other things… I felt embarrassed for putting them thru the worry… but then ….i have to do it that way… :)

Now having cleaned the plate of heavy break fast packed bag for my day’s needs and off I went … I visited the famous Singapore zoo and quite dint understand if it was the spread of acres of land with so many animals left free… to live their lives…or if my understanding of a zoo was quite different and hence I was awed by it… I enjoyed the entire walk … I mean I spent the entire day in a zoo all I did was eat , drink coke … watch animals … and ofcourse click pictures… I honestly don’t remember spending so much time in a zoo surely….. but I enjoyed it :) The zoo had all kinds of birds (parrots with the colour one could not imagine) reptiles of the kinds that I dint know… and animals that I thought I would never get to watch from such a short distance… agree that it sounds a lil childish may be … I dunno I felt it was cooll and my fav pics are here :)

It was Sri Krishna Janmastami and my sis told me abt this Krishna temple where I must go and I did!! Yet another expedition found a friendly tamil speaking aunty around the place and she took me with her and gave me a tour of the place… and helped me with the darshan…. Now… I did use my linguistic skills somewhere.. dint I :)

My expeditions went on to the oh so famous - “UNIVERSAL STUDIOS” not to forget. I had the best time there… I played some really cool water games… and enjoyed every bit of the day and came home tired and ate and slept like a log. On the way back from Universal Studios they gave free transportation and I dint have to worry abt oh no wait… I got down at the right place only I dint know how to go home from there…. ROFL…. And so yes I finally called my BIL and told him …. Best was he asked me to explain how the place looked like and asked me to turn around and take the stairs down and go to the mrt :) and get into the metro ..heheheh cool na… ofcourse I could have done it … only dint take chance :)

Now me and my sis left putti with my BIL and went on one of our shopping spree… and had a lot of fun and looking around.. not sure if one can call it window shopping becoz we did buy some stuff ofcourse…. And came home and went to the beach….. ahhh the beach I loved the air …… the evening walk in the shores… awesome… and then came home and crashed….

They took me to two of the really beautiful places….one – THE ORCHID GARDENS; two – THE ORCHARD ROAD…… Here are some pics… but nothing from the orchard road since half the time I spent in my oohhh ahhh at the Louis Vuitton ; Gucci; and prada…… I guess I gave them a head ache.. for my BIL almost said y don’t u go buy one and get over with it…. And kept making fun of me…. all thru…. We went to the dunkins donuts  and ate some really lip smacking stuff and headed home….Now I would like to say that having a frapuccino from Starbucks and Donuts from the Dunkin’s are the couple of things… I really did like…..:)

I also spent a day off in between doing an absolute nothing the whole day other than eating talking to SIS and playing with putti and in the evening I thought it was stupid to waste a day while I was there and went to the Tampines mall again for a quick browse….:)

With the shopping done and the bags packed…. Wow…….. there I was in the fag end of the vacation….. a couple more hours……. Well I would say it was coolll I enjoyed had fun relaxed....... and done……!!!!!!!!!!!!

MA 1.01

There …. Sitting at the Changi Airport… lounge thousand thoughts on my mind.. Have I always been that -> talking to myself?? or is it the impatience or excitement.. whatever.. at that exact moment I was simply thinking abt my stay… will I cover all the places? umm how is this place..? Hey wat is it like if u have to venture out on ur own? What can I shop? grrrrrr enough is enough now shut up and wait for them to arrive… I called them to check and yup they were there.. and would be meeting me any minute.. done… !! Nope that isn’t impatience that was jus me being super excited :)… !!!!!


The doting parents and sweet lil Akshatha (I like callilng her putti) cho cuteeeeeee….. one beautiful family… there they were… MY BIL had to hurry to office.. so sis, putti and me zoomed in a taxi… I actually was worried abt toddlers normally being agitated and unable to cope with new faces…etc., but then here was the beautiful princess happily sitting in my lap and cooing at the interiors of the car and trying to pull the car door open…!! My sis already gave me an induction.. abt the sweet lil one… and her naughty ways… With the case deposited carefully and the lil one playing around… we both sat over to have what is called as a quickie catching up … really… it was the same… we talked that way in our childhood too for hours and hours… and it still is the same… I guess It’s the same with every one may be becoz u have an entire childhood and family and so many other things – all in common…

After hogging some food i settled down and kept staring at the view below since their apartment stood on the 11th floor in the lush green Bedok Reservoir View Road. I was actually enjoying the sight of the neat roads … beautiful trees on both sides… a huge parking lot and so much more.. the Traveller in me wide awake … waiting for the opportunity to run out doors… Thought will hold on until I get a tour… :) After settling down and freshing up and other things… we headed to the Tampines Mall – and I felt like a toddler myself trying to learn too many things at the same time.. My sis had already given me the lessons of the pedestrian crossing, currency, dos and donts.. and so on. After a quick browsing at the apple store and a cup of some amazing ice cream.. we started in to the mall and I told them I will finish a round and meet them at the sub way.

From Bossini to Giordano to HANG TEN millions of brands, restaurants, etc etc., Sure a bangalorean will defi enjoy a tour like this :) I walked around until my legs gave away and sat down with them for a quick moment and we headed home.. Initially I must admit that for the first two days I still had that faint sad feeling…. May be bcoz I was missing home… dad… but ssooon I told myself .. listen, this is vacation!! u always will go back… so jus relax and enjoy ok !!

The next couple of days went with visiting more malls, A certain really huge 24/7 Mustafa mall; Sentosa Island and a great deal of public transport usage (bus and the neat and comfortable Metro) BTW I took a small walk in the reservoir park with my sis and was taken aback with the serene beauty of the nature, and ppl of all ages jogging and walking as if their life depended on that!!! We walked until we could and returned home for we had more places to visit… but then I made a mental note that I had to come back to this park once again….

The visits involved munching away some hot idlis and spicy chutneys at the oh so famous murugan’s idli… and so many others… But the best was the Sentosa Island… there is something called as a LUGE which is a sliding thing which u can sit in wearing a helmet and slide on the slopy land. YUHOOOOOOO aint that fun…?? I did it and enjoyed it thoroughly… super cool !! But the best part also was the cable car that we went in to the Sentosa island.. I simply enjoyed that amazing… really my god u sit inside that thing and there… on top of everything and u look down to find abundant huge mighty buildings.. water… water everywhere… and so on… ohhh breathtaking.. is wat I felt… The Sentosa also offers u a merlion Walk and view.. apparently there is a small story abt why and how the name Singapore came and that was shown as a short animated video … the view from the Merlion head was simply superb… I kept clicking and clicking and clicking.. pictures.. and finally ended up trying to click my self with a self timer… and the young American couple offered to help and here.. that was a nice pic … I liked it :) eheheh

The dolphin and an underwater world show… was awesome and enjoyed every bit of it… and I kept clicking away pics … there are creatures from the underwater world … on either side.. and there is an escalator kind of a thing in between and u simply need to stand on it and it takes u thru the biggggggg round……… and u get the view of ohhh thousands and thousands of different variety of sea turtles, fish, amoeba, algae, scorpions, crabs, frogs, snakes…in all possible colours, shapes sizes..… oh mind blowing.. wat an Idea !! simply amazing…

We roamed and roamed and I got in to some tiger … sky viewing… and that and this… almost everything… ohh by 6.30 pm I was so tired… and they told me it has to be dark so that I would get a view of the beauty with all the lights on our way back in the cable car.. and all and so we got a glimpse of the newly opened casino… after looking at those roulette tables in the movies.. I got to see that in real… we had a quick tour of the place.. and one of the things.. reminded me of a scene from the movie – “what happens in vegas” and I saw a real Lamborghini parked in the front.. dunno y though :) may be they would give it to some one who won consecutively :) and we came back in the Cable car and enjoyed every bit of the journey back… amazing.. superb.. cool… awesome.. I kept blabbering.. and they patiently took it.. heeheh I would have given a head ache… to them with my on going exclamations… ahahahah

There is a place called Clark Quay - where we enjoyed a motor boat riding in the night.. oh simply amazing…. In between the calm water and either sides of it u find malls and the spread of the restaurants and the corporate hub which looked more like a zillion diamonds shining… with the lights ON in the night….. WOWOOOOOOOOO… Got a glimpse of something called china town… which is a wide spread of market where u find, almost anything and everything, from a Cuban restaurant and Chinese temple to a wide variety of stones in al possible shades … and so on ….. I happily browsed thru…

The weekend did end and I told them … I would wana do a bit of a sightseeing on my own too… and made a list of places I can go to. I decided take that much awaited walk in the park and click some pics and test my photography skills… :)

I took it in at the Reservoir park :)

The week would start and so would my expedition.. Exciting isn’t it… a different country,… strangers all around… a bag full of my things stuffed… no hurry to reach anywhere… no worries of recruitment.. no agitation of traffic or to reach office right on time.. nobody to judge me… wow this is wat they call vacation isn’t it .. I dunno!! But for me this is called as vacation… and it was really really nice……:)

MA : 1.0

MA : 1.0


To do to not do!! Umm I don’t think it’s a great idea come on…. Have I gone mad of course I don’t wana do this now… oh no no I guess lemme do it… HUFF!! This exactly was the kind of the thing that went on in my mind…. When I first thought about my vacation to Singapore….

With my decision made I told dad that I couldn’t really make up my mind to go leaving him behind… since he dint have a passport at all.. Of course dad gave me a quick ten min talk and I SAID YESS!! Am gonna do it!! Now that the decision was made I had to bring myself to accept the fact that I was gonna travel alone to my MI trip no.1 which I did quickly :)

The details of ticket booking and money exchange and travel bag – oh come on dad wouldn’t let me do a thing… he took care of my travel to the last minute detail!!! The loving caring dad!! No wonder daughter’s are always partial towards their dads :) taking care of ticket booking is one thing and ensuring to buy a number locking stuff for my samsonite is another thing of caring altogether… not sure abt anyone else but ask me and I could say I am so lucky to have a caring dad like this… The packing as usual was done in the nth moment LOL of course am known for that all thru … :) and ohh!! The DAY arrived!!

WHOOPSIE DAISY!! I was travelling to Singapore... Sure loads of ppl do!!! But then for me the first international travel made me nervous, excited, proud, and happy all at the same time… Next thing I know dad dropped me at the airport and I entered the lounge …. I turn back oops only travelers are allowed.. :) :) Oh come on!!! GROANNNNNNNNN not happening…. The daddy’s girl was suddenly left all alone to worry about the stupid check in and blah blah to be done on her own.. as confused as I was I turned to look at the glass door and found dad nervously standing and peeping at me and waving me to go towards the counter and show my tickets to the personnel there… that moment I understood that dad wasn’t worried abt being alone for the longest period and for the first time without me but he was worried abt sending me all alone!! The look on his face was nothing less than a father who was throwing his kid and catching her mid in the air suddenly by mistake could not catch her and was bewildered and worried to the core of the soul!!!

I immediately called him to say it was alright and I was fine… and pleaded him not to worry…. And cleared my misty eyes!! Of course a travel alone for four and a half hours was manageable… but how the hell was I supposed to be fine and not miss dad!!! But then the next one hour kept me busy with the baggage check in, security check, immigration blah blah… I was not very but actually a lil nervous wen I stood in the queue for the immigration… sure there were so many travelers who were moving in to different booth for the same as me… but there was a mild agitation inside…. And there… came my turn and I gave my confident smile and a helloo and handed the officer my papers and passport and he started stifling my papers and checking it into the system in front of him for what looked like to me as a million hours {it actually took two mins :)} and after putting the much needed stamp on to my passport … he said – “ First time travel :) all the best , enjoy” - to which I gave a nod and a thx to him and walked out of the booth with a sigh of relief and smile on my face.. of course I waited in the lounge for ten mins and finished my quick call to dad to which he only said call me before u switch off :)

The obedient one that I am :) boarded the flight settled down to my window seat and happily called dad to say tata…. And stared out of the window to see if I can find a taxi and my dad somewhere in sight.. Now this might look stupid and funny but then isn’t it that wat one would do while battling so many emotions at the same time??? I finished switching off my phone and finally turned my attention to my fellow passenger.. Just in case… the cautious one that I am…. I found an aunty in the side seat and to my relief the centre seat was empty :) GEE I was definitely relieved… The sitting next to someone with that a close area… is something I have always hated … or rather I am simply not comfortable about … dunno y though….

Since there was nothing much for me to do once I was locked inside the silk air – Aircraft… I started turning my keen eye to the aunty in the green simple saree… Simple the saree was but not she … definitely… the Louis Vuitton bag and the black cashmere shawl kind of a thing she draped herself with was definitely beautiful… oh I would call it as elegant… And then we exchanged wat is called a fellow passenger smile and eyed each other and ahh!! There came the approval smile from both of us being satisfied with the fellow traveler… and I settled down with the seat belt… now some more time to read the TODAY – newspaper of Singapore given to me and my fellow passenger - the elegant aunty :) and there suddenly I realized that the aunty wore a beautiful design of diamonds as bangles , a beautiful super cool pair of earring and a ring… the glitter of the diamonds wow this was a super cool aunty surely… who said anything about one can’t look elegant in their 50’s !! of course I have seen the heavy makeup and un necessary modern touch that people try to force on themselves… Now … I really was awed / impressed by the way this cute aunty dressed… hmm ohhh in the meanwhile… here comes my vegetarian dinner… :) :) despite eating chapathi at home.. Here I was munching off the meal without a minute’s hesitation… it was decent not great!! Now this conclusion about the meal I came to only after I completed hogging… :)during it the only thing I thought about was the options and which to eat first…

Ten minutes after the meal I tucked myself into the warm blanket and eyed the sky hoping if I would get to gaze at the moon and the soft cotton like white clouds… oh no!! :( I was in for disappointment.. instead I found a dark sky and heavily lashing rain… :) I tried to keep my eyes open but just could not do it anymore and drifted off to wat is called as the peacefulness of sleep where there was no excitement and anticipation of the trip or the sadness of missing dad… there was calm and quiet..

I woke up wen the sun light started touching my eyes slowly seeping thru the tiny windows of the air craft… and kept shuffling myself to adjust my eyes to the soft light of breaking dawn… and kept staring down to see what lay in the surprise package and started thinking wat it would be like wen I step in to the Singapore soil… yuppie… here I was !!!! Destination reached… It felt great… setting my foot out of the air craft (after the weird thank you have a nice time – from the air hostesses) I felt as though I were someone like a Neil Armstrong and was the first one to set my foot on the Singapore soil - this was the exact thought and I almost laughed out while thinking… ROFL…. One could feel like calling me a fool to have thought this way… but then my thoughts were mine isn’t it … funny or stupid --- that was the feeling I felt..

I got company of another girl who was a loner like me and I helped her by showing the way to the escalator that took us towards the baggage counter and in turn borrowed her pen to fill the required form :) and together we made it to the exit :) and said bye… and there I sat in the lounge of the Changi Airport… changing my airtel sim into the matrix one and waiting for sis and family to arrive…

:) :) for further details… keep watching this space eheeh :)