Learning to say "NO"

TO SAY NO!!

I have been hearing from friends, cousins – people who know me really well that I don’t say “NO”  or I don’t know how to say “NO”.

Even though this has been  my new year resolution blah blah for a half a dozen times, for one or the other reason I fall back into the same old ME.  So wat is it that is wrong? Why do I simply smile and nod and say yes while the actual reaction has to be WAT!! NO WAY!! Definitely not!! Oh no I cant!

Do a lot of people have this kind of a problem or am I just the stupid one!? Dunno the answer for it… but am definitely one among that population …. So I headed to think the – why when where….did this start…I think it started with the introspection of assessing my short temper and looking for perfection in people, Things, situations… and then slowly I kept telling myself perhaps I shud tone down not good and things and there! I reached a place where I kept smiling pretty and nodding my head and initially I thought it avoided a lot of issues, fights, irritations but then I came so far that I had to do another introspection to bring myself out of that mode.

Now – identifying a problem I did it on my own…. And then I slept on it L L I know, sounds sick!  but then that’s true…. Like the famous one liner – I love work ; I can sit and stare at it for hours…  Exactly the same applies only that I do Identify a problem and then simply keep worrying abt it rather than fixing it!! Typical ME!!  But then a friend said please stand up and voice out your issues and get it over with rather than just taking things that you don’t wana be a part of ! Closer circle said the same…. And people who don’t know me well said the same – And then and there I realized that was the last bell; and I had to fix it or get stuck like that forever.

Now  before worrying about anything else I begin to think I panic about things wen it comes from strangers / people who are more like acquaintances, don’t really know me well.  The reason why I panic is not only becoz  that some one figured it out but also for the fact that I am becoming understandable, readable, predictable … whatever…. to people who are not in the close circle and makes me feel like the masquerade I wear was removed and my face was seen by the generic audience! That’s the feeling I have ! Dunno why though… I would like to openly talk to, joke about, share a secret with the close bunch and raise the guards around me otherwise…. Guess lot of ppl do that or am one among those silly ones….whichever….

I wonder do couples… very close frends…. Siblings…companions of all types… have that kind of a problem… that they spend so much time together / get to know each other so well that after some time the whole relationships become totally predictable….but then wat s wrong with predictability?

Guess predictable is like monotonous jobs! Gets boring eventually and if you don’t fix it soon you will end up not knowing why ur there !  And that’s  disastrous!

I dunno wat ppl do wen they enter this phase… but then I shud think abt wat I do first J LOL so, coming to the basic thought abt saying “NO” – I guess am doing it lil by lil like earlier I would simply nod if a frend asked me to accompany her somewhere or the blah blah blah now a days I do take a minute to think ; to say the yes, no. or atleast ensure to figure out if I have some thing important to do … the reason y I do that is becoz I have been dumb enough to say yes to too many things tat would hav to be at the same time with different people like saying yes to go to a movie and then saying yes to stay home too! While its not the mistake of either of the parties involved the culprit is good old “ME” ROFL

There !! I said it! Not that bad! Atleast now am slowly working on it… hope to be better at it J

Ok! But what about the predictability / monotony part??? HMMMM I would wana think some more…. J